张红家离学校1600m，一天早晨由于有事耽误，结果吃
编辑： admin 2017-23-02
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第一行,doubtED.
……
看了几行不再细看,你基本上没有大的语法错误,这方面很不错滴；但是就这篇文章本身来说,论证结构有点点单一,指代虽然正确但是用法还可以酌量减少.过多的指代会混乱主题哟~（其中刘翔教练的那句,到底你想是it 还是that,明明就是同一个~这个在SAT语法里面我就直接算是错的了）词汇方面非常庞大（你是不是背了红宝之后写的?）,不过写作很多时候不是拼词汇量,而是尽量精确的用法.这篇文章仔细看之后请修改下是全篇时态一致（刚扫到最后一点And Liu has won ...gold medal.在前不接村后不着店的情况下,用过去式就可以了,撑死了加一个already表示已经）.
第一行出现的boring,情感的方面固然蛮到位,但是无法避免情绪化之嫌,不够dispassionate,显得基调不够客观；另外,就每段来说,论点过小,感觉每段都在将一样的话重复.如果你不想大幅修改全文,可以在开头稍微讲一下这个事件的始末,使你的论据援引的各种细节有迹可循.
类似问题
类似问题1：关于刘翔的英文短文[英语科目]
Born in the 1980s,Liu Xiang is one of the best athletes in our country.He is good at running and 110 meters hurdles.He is even the most capable hurdler in the world.He keeps the best record of 12.88 seconds until now.No one has the ability to break it so far.Among lots of TV programmes,I like the sport games best.And the 110 hurdles races are the most exciting games in them.Everytime I see Liu Xiang running in the track,shouting wildly after the races,I find myself is full of passion in my heart.Especially,the moment when he gets the first prize on the stage,I can't help applauding for his excellent performance.I am deeply moved by his spirit and his great ambitions.The sports spirit of Liu Xiang also inspires me a lot in my life and study.As a young man,Liu Xiang is the best example of making every effort to develop his sport career and break so many records,though he has got many medals now.I think this spirit is worth to learned by all of us.With this ambition,we could defeat any difficulties in our lives and works.Affected by his restless soul,I will never give up and insist my ideals.As one of his fans,I hope that Liu Xiang could do well in the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games,and win more gold medals for our country.I support him forever in my heart.As for myself,I will work as hard as him to make more progress in my study.
类似问题2：关于刘翔的作文,不要英文的.
大家对刘翔怎么看呢,至少我会说：“刘翔,你真是好样的!”虽然这次奥运会因伤退出十分可惜,但是这只是刘翔人生中的一站罢了,之所以人们会把他的退出看成是故意的,因为他们把“刘翔一定会夺冠的”这种思想深深地印刻在大脑中,一旦刘翔失败,那么他们的舆论也会接踵而至,才导致了现在的情况!
总体来说,翔飞人这几年的表现还是不错的,曾经一度世界纪录就是他的,虽然现在被罗伯斯占据,可是相信巅峰状态的刘翔还是无可阻挡的!试想一下,假如刘翔夺冠,他能得到什么?也许只是比平时多一点的掌声,金牌榜也只是多了一枚金牌而已,相反,他现在的因伤退出,不仅被外界的压力压的喘不过气,甚至有人认为他是装的!那我就要问了,他赢的话你们只是比平时多一点掌声,但是他失败了就是一顿劈头盖脸的谩骂和炒作,这样的话,你是愿意选择谩骂还是掌声?我想你一定会选掌声,虽然只是一点掌声但也不会选择被骂的吧!这样想想,刘翔可能是装的吗?!
四年前,刘翔的横空出世震惊世界,四年后却以一种人们不能接受的方式退出,惋惜之余,我想想,他还是个英雄,不仅是我心中的英雄,我们上海的英雄,更是全中国的英雄,雅典奥运会的时候,假如刘翔没有夺冠,也就没有了现在的大肆炒作,这次的退出也不会被外界所舆论,想想翔飞人每次在外国人的土地上一次次登上最高点,他给中国带来了多少荣誉和赞助商,现在看看你们给他的脸色,简直是一个天使一个魔鬼!真正的英雄不会是默默不做声的,也不会是十分张扬的,而是该沉默的时候沉默,该张扬的时候张扬!当刘翔在瑞士洛桑打破世界纪录时,他是多么的张扬和骄傲,现在他在北京又以默默地背影给了世界一个悬念!他的这种张扬我佩服,他的这种沉默我佩服,他的这种精神我更是佩服!翔大哥,你就是永远的Hero!
最后我不得不提,刘翔是我们上海人,是我们上海人的骄傲,加上姚明,我们上海人真是无比的骄傲,因为我们同时孕育了两位超级明星!明星也是老百姓,当你把所有的明星都看成普通平民时,你也就不会觉得他们有什么特殊,他们的失败与成功也只是生活中的小插曲罢了!让我们祝刘翔一生幸福快乐,所有运动员永远美满!
类似问题3：关于刘翔的英语小短文 表明出生年月日 40个词[英语科目]
Liuxiang is one of the most famous running athletes.He is good at running and 110 meters hurdles.He is even the most capable hurdler in the world.Liu Xiang is the best example of making every effort to develop his sport career and break so many records,
He was born in Shanghai China in 13th.July,1983.He is 1.88m tall and 74 kilograms.He like singing,his favourite singer is Zhang Xueyou.When he was a little boy he like sport very much,he did a lot running exercises.so he can run very fast now.He won 110m men's hurdle's gole medal in 2004 Summer Olympics.We call him "Air Chinese".
类似问题4：用英语写一篇介绍运动员刘翔的文章[英语科目]
Do you have a favorite player?I have a favorite player.He is an outstanding runner.He was born on July 13th,1983 in Shanghai.He is 1.88 meters tall and 74 kilos in weight.He looks handsome.He has a sq...
类似问题5：2008高中生优秀作文,其中有许多名人写的文章,比如刘翔,刘若英等2008年高中生优秀作文,其中有许多名人写的文章,比如刘翔,刘若英等!谁知道是哪本书?
当人类的群星闪烁时