2011考研作文修改关于人口老龄化 The impl
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The implied meaning of the drawing can be interpreted in terms of population aging.In the modern society,with families becoming smaller and living pace escalating,it is important and essential for families to care for 【their只是觉得加个词更顺些】aged members adequately.As a matter of fact,aging causes a relative decline in working force in that fewer people have to support the increasing aged people.Consequently,the productivity of the whole society is affected to some extent.Last but not least,the population aging in China resulted from the successful implementation of the family planning programme has not been synchronized with national economic progress.
To cope with the population aging,China should dedicate itself to comprehensive addressing population issue and establishing a population-balance society.Furthermore,importance should be attached to overall social progress by converting the backward situation in social security,welfare and service.Only in this way can we curb the current phenomenon revealed in the picture.
PS:语法方面没有多大错误.另外,本文的第二句,建议把with短语放到主句后面,我明白你是要表达状语前置的句式结构,但是读上去有些中文思维明显.
当然,我不清楚考研作文的评分标准,不好瞎指导.只是坦诚的跟你交流,为此我在读完你的作文后思考了一下,以下只是思想交流,不带任何评判.看你写的,我突然产生一种熟悉感,因为我以前也是这么“用心”的写的,可以看出来你在特意选一些比较有深度的词和句式用进去,但坦率的讲,以我读来的感觉来看,并不流畅.个别语句由于追求句式复杂而不够简洁.有些难词,感觉用的突兀,不是英文常用的搭配习惯.当然,这些标准都太苛求了,对于考研也没必要.只是,除此之外,没什么要改的了.本人也在学习中,才到达一些语感辨识,就是能察觉出恰当不恰当,要说能把一篇文章改的纯英文思维,还没到那火候,请见谅!由于我不知考研作为规则,所以只在语法句式个别用词层面上给些帮助.
类似问题
类似问题1：求高手修改2011考研作文请高手帮我修改下,顺便给个分.图画是在雪地上有一个赈灾捐款的箱子,箱子边上的雪都融化了This is a warm and thought-provoking picture.As is shown in the cartoon,in the winter stands a d[英语科目]
通过看你的文章,大概明白了图片信息和你要说的内容,于是在你的作文基础上作了些改的,请查看.
This is a warm and thought-provoking cartoon picture.From the picture,we can see that the snow around a donation box is thawed.It means that in the hard situation,donation could bring people not only material support but also inspiration.
Through the picture,we can speculate that the drawer wants to remind us to hold love minds forever.Disasters are terrible and unfortunate and they take wealth,health and even life away from us.However,there are a lot of persons who try their best to help the poor,the disabled and its like.Under people's kind help,person in trouble will have power to stand up again and have confidence and courage to live on.
I was inspired while reading the reports of donation.Someone's help is tiny,but it is will be unimaginable power after adding every help up,Therefore,I strongly advocate that everybody should give a hand to others.Only with love and contribution,I am sure,would our society become more beautiful and more harmonious.
类似问题2：2011考研作文About money worshipIn the morden society,a large number of people suppose that money is everything.They can’t live without money in their daily life.Consequently,they view money as their own lives.It is undeniable that money,which d[英语科目]
About money worship【About mammon worship】
In the morden society, a large number of people suppose that money is everything. They can’t live without money in their daily life. Consequently, they view【regard】 money as their own lives. 【It is undeniable that money, which does much benefit in many respects.这句语法不对,不明白你要表达什么】 Money help【helps】 us to achieve our goals. While【when】 buying living necessities【living goods or daily necessities】 or studing abroad for further education, what【去掉】 the most important and essential thing we should consider is money. To some extent, money improves 【not only】our material life but also our spirtual life.
As a matter of fact, everything has two sides. Too often, a vast collectiong of possession ends up possessing its owner【不太理解这句话,是名言还是你自己写的?】. The asset we should value, aside from money, are【主语是asset的话,用is】 health, family and long-standing friendship. Take Warren Buffett for example, more than 99% of his wealth will be donated to the foundations benefiting schools and medical organizations【将来时吗?他的钱不是已经捐给比尔盖茨的基金会了吗?】. In contrast, his family and he will give up nothing they need by fulfilling this 99% pledge. 【Whether】 money is the root of happiness or source of evils, 【去掉逗号这是一句话】all depends on ourselves. Only by taking a correct attitude can we not pursue money blindly.
尽量少使用自己不熟的单词,写作最主要的是表达清楚意思和语法正确（觉得你用从句的时候容易出错）,希望以上对你有所帮助.
类似问题3：2011年考研作文预测2011年考研英语作文有预测是什么的啊
一、考研作文十大重点话题预测
1.人口问题
2.西部大开发
3.网络和双刃剑（金钱,阳光）
4.成功,梦想和现实
5.职业选择和规划/高分低能
6.洋节和传统节日
7.神七上天和嫦娥奔月
8.地震与爱心
9.奥运举办
10.抄袭与诚信
补充题目：伪劣商品;食品安全;抄袭与诚信;乱收费（因果：因：法律制度不完善,部分人只顾自己利益,忽视学生利益; 果：为社会,个人带来不良后果和巨大压力）节俭与压力;心理问题;交通阻塞
二、考研作文预测六大话题
以下六大话题搜集,是在充分研究2011年全年大事记的前提下,严格遵守以上两大命题思路所作出的预测,具体的范文会陆续在我的元旦押题班中发布,请大家引起足够重视!
1.漫画“瞎子摸到了真象”--- 影射国际对于中国认识的前后变化.
2.漫画“相互推卸责任”--- 影射食品安全事件中的社会责任感和道德感缺失.
3.漫画“股市大跌”--- 影射投机心态不可有,脚踏实地才是出路.
4.漫画“地震中用自己身躯保护学生的好老师”--- 影射灾难事件中人性的光辉.关于灾难,此命题切入点还有可能为保持乐观心态.
5.漫画“把我整成**明星的样子”--- 影射整容现象以及山寨现象.
三、考研写作六大话题
考研作文热点：次热门话题
★健康：考过两次--96年提纲作文、97年图表作文.
★两代关系：考过3次--92年（代沟问题）、03年（温室花朵经不起风雨）、05年（养老足球赛）.
★爱心：考过3次--95年（希望工程）、01年（希望是一盏灯）、06年小作文（给希望工程写信请求捐款）.
★环境：考过3次--99年图表作文（保护野生动物）、2000年图画作文（保护海洋资源）、09年小作文（限制使用塑料袋）.
★青年面对社会：考过4次--03年（温室花朵经不起风雨）、04年（终点又是新起点）、07年（自信）、08年.
★文化：考过5次
1、流行文化：考过3次--93年（电视广告）、06年（偶像崇拜）、09年（网络）.
2、文化交流、文化融合：考过2次--02年（美国小女孩穿中国服装）、10年（文化火锅）.
类似问题4：2011考研作文是什么
小作文：给你一个朋友写封信,介绍一部你喜欢的电影给他,并给朋友说明喜欢这部电影的原因
大作文：是一副图（附带照片）,上面在湖里一个游船上一个人划船,船上坐着一对游人边游玩
边丢垃圾,不远处有很多垃圾,要求描述一下并发表自己的观点.
类似问题5：考研作文修改各种意见,虚心接受,As is symbolically portrayed in the cartoon,a boiling hotpot embodies different kinds of culture,both modern and ancient,Chinese and foreign,such as Kongfu,Lao She,Einstein,Peking Opera and so forth.The cap[英语科目]
写得真好.比我当年考研时写得好多了.
有几个地方,谈不上修改,只是探讨一下.
1、many foreign culture are fresh to us,which we can change our taste to after being tired of our old fashion in a bid to create new power to do things more enthusiastically.
culture有两个含义：（1）the customs and beliefs, art, way of life and social rganization of a particular country or group.这个cultrue是不可数名词.（2）a country, group, etc. with its own beliefs, etc.这个cultrue是可数名词.
贵文应当是第一种culture,所以没有用复数形式.但前面直接用many限制就不合适了.建议改成many kinds of foreign culture.
which we can change our taste to 强调的是“we”,但文中讲的是外国文化对我们的影响,强调的是“foreign culture ”.所以改成which can change our taste语意更顺些.
2、Only when we have the well understanding of different culture can we conquer the great amout difficulties which we wil encounter when we work with foreigners .
well 是副词,应改成good.
different culture改成different cultures.不可数名词表示种类,要用复数.
amout 后面要加of.
3、Only in this way can our country, our people enjoy a revival.
改成Only in this way can our country, our people and our culture itself enjoy a revival.