趣味英语，今天就要交啦!A heavy stone
编辑： admin 2017-09-03
-
4
个人觉得,Jim should stand in front of the stone tiger
提示：
he can turn back . 转过去就在右边拉
类似问题
类似问题1：趣味英语~介绍下如family~可以变成爸妈我爱你~等等
f-father
a-and
m-mother
i-I
l-love
y-you
合起来就是Father and mother I love you
Part I Homonyms＆Puns
第1篇 谐音及双关类
Questions：
1．Who is closer to you, your mom or your dad?
爸爸和妈妈谁和你更亲?
2．Can you go to the Cinema with your watch broken?
你手表坏了,可以去看电影吗?
3．Why is the comet like Mickey Mouse?
为什么说彗星像米老鼠?
Keys：
1．Mom is closer, because dad is farther．
妈妈更亲,因为爸爸更远.
2．Of course not,for I don’t have the time．
当然不行,因为我没有时间.
3．It’s a star with a tail．
因为它是带着一根尾巴的星星.
Notes：
1．father父亲,音似farther/’fa：J/更远
2． I don’t have the time有两种理①我没有时
间；②我没戴表或我的表坏了,不知道时间.
3．comet/’k&mit/ n．彗星
Mickey Mouse/ 'miki maus/米老鼠
tail/teil/ n．（动物的）尾巴；彗（星）尾
Questions：
1．What’s the largest room in the world?
世界上最大的房间是什么房间?
2．What’s the poorest bank in the world?
最没有钱的银行是什么银行?
3．When is coffee like the surface of the earth?
咖啡什么时候像地球表面?
4．What month do soldiers hate?
当兵的不喜欢几月份?
Keys：
1．The room for improvement．
改进的空间.
2．The river bank．
河堤.
3．When it’s ground．
被碾成粉末时.
4．March．
三月.
Notes：
1．room·房间；空间,余地
2．bank n．银行；堤岸
3．ground n．地面,它也是grind/grind/v．磨
碎,碾碎的过去分词形式.
4．march n．行军
Questions：
1．When is a person not a person?
什么时候人不是人?
2．When is a door not a door?
什么时候门不是门?
3．When are boys not boys?
什么时候男孩不是男孩?
4．When is a clock dangerous?
什么时候时钟是危险的?
Keys：
1．When he is a little cross．
当他有点恼怒时.
2．When it’s ajar．
当它虚掩时.
3．When they’re bare-footed．
当他们赤脚时.
4．When it runs down the stairs and strikes one．
当它滚下楼梯敲响一点钟时.
Notes：
1．cross adj．烦恼,恼火； n．十字架
2．ajar/+’DNα：/adj．（门）虚掩着,露了一条缝的
音似a jar（一只壶）.
3．bare-footed赤脚,音似bear-footed,脚和熊一
样.
4．strikes one另一层意思是：击中一个人
Questions：
1．Why is tennis so noisy?
打网球为什么很吵?
2．If a cabbage and a carrot raced, which one
would win?
如果卷心菜和胡萝卜赛跑,谁会赢?
3．How many feet are there in a yard?
一码有多少英尺?
Keys：
1．Each player raises a racket．
因为每个运动员都拿着球拍.
2．The cabbage,because it’s always ahead．
卷心菜,因为它总是领先在前.
3．It depends on how many people stand in the
yard．
这要看院子里站了多少人.
Notes：
1．racket/’r$kit/n．（网球等的）球拍；喧哗,喧闹
raise a racket大吵大闹
2．cabbage/’k$biDN/n．卷心菜
carrot/’k#+r+t/n．胡萝卜
a head of cabbage一颗卷心菜
3．feet n．英尺；脚（pl．）
yard n．院子；码
Questions：
1．When are people like glasses?
什么时候人像眼镜?
2．What beam is lighter than all the other beams?
什么梁最轻?
3．What animal eats with its tail?
什么动物用尾巴吃东西?
Keys：
1．When they make spectacles of themselves．
当他们出洋相的时候.
2．lightbeam.
光线.
3．All animals do． No one takes off its tail while
eating．
所有的动物,没有任何一种动物在吃东西时要取
下尾巴.
Notes：
1．spectacle/’spekt+kl/ n．眼镜
make a spectacle of oneself
使自己出丑,出洋相
2．beam/bi：m/ n．梁；光线
3．with prep．用…做事；带着,有…
Questions：
1．How can you make a slow horse fast?
怎样能使慢马跑得快?
2．What is heavier in summer than in winter?
什么东西夏天比冬天重?
3．What clothing is always sad?
什么衣服总是伤感的?
Keys：
1．Don’t give it anything to eat for a while．
暂时别给它吃东西.
2．Traffic to the beach．
去海滩的人流.
3．Blue Jeans．
蓝色牛仔服.
Notes：
1．fast adj．快的； v．绝食
2．heavy adj．重的；交通量大的,繁忙的
3．jeans/DNi：nz/ n．牛仔衣,牛仔裤
blue adj．蓝色的；伤感的
Questions：
1．How many legs do horses have?
马有几条腿?
2．When are people smartest?
什么时候人最聪明?
3．I have a tree in my hand．What kind of tree is
it?
我的手上有棵树,是什么树?
Keys：
1．six legs---- forelegs in front and two in back．
有六条腿,前面有前腿,后面有两条腿.
2．When it’s sunny,because everything’s brighter
then．
当天气晴朗的时候,因为这时候万物都更明亮.
3．It’s a palm．
是你的手掌.
Notes：
1．forelegs/’f&::legz/ n．前腿,音似four legs（四条
腿）
2．bright adj.办明亮；聪明
smart/sma：t/adj．聪明
3． palm/pa：m/ n．棕榈树；手掌
Questions ：
1．Can you explain what is free speech?
你能说说什么是言论自由吗?
2．If the green house is on the right side of the
road,and the red house is on the left side of the
road,where is the white house?
假设绿房子在马路右边,红房子在马路左边,请
问白房子在哪儿?
3．What fruit is never found singly?
什么水果永远不会是单个的?
Keys：
1．Your talking on someone else’s phone．
用别人的电话打电话.
2．In Washington,D． C．
在华盛顿.
3．A pear．
是梨.
Notes：
1．free adj．自由的；免费的
2．The White House白宫
3．pear/p#+/ n．梨,音似 pair/p#+/ n．一对
Questions：
1．Why is the bride unhappy on her wedding day?
新娘新婚为何不开心?
2．What time must it be when the escaped hungry
wolf ate the paymaster?
逃跑了的饿狼吃掉出纳员是什么时候?
3．What will you break once you say it?
什么东西说出来就碎了?
Keys：
1．Because she didn’t marry the best man．
因为她没有嫁给最好的人.
2．8p．m．
下午8点.
3．Silence．
沉默.
Notes：
1．bride/braid/n．新娘
bridegroom/’braidgrum/n．新郎
best man男傧相；最好的男人
bridesmaid/’braidsmeid/ n．女傧相
2．8 P．m．音似ate P．m．,而P．m．是 paymaster的
缩写.
paymaster n．（发放薪饷的）出纳员
3．break the silence打破沉默
Questions：
1．What kind of clothes lasts the longest?
什么衣服穿得最久?
2．Why are farmers cruel?
为什么农夫是残酷的?
3．Why are babies like hinges?
为什么说婴儿像门铰链?
Keys：
1．Underwear, because it’s never worn out．
是内衣,因为它永远不会穿在外面.
2．They pull corns by the ears．
因为他们揪着玉米耳朵掰玉米.
3．Because they are things to adore．
因为他们是受宠爱的.
Notes：
1． worn out穿坏,磨损；穿在外面
2．ear耳朵；一穗（玉米）
pull corns by the ears另一种理解是“一穗一穗
地掰玉米”.
3．adore/α’d&::/ v．喜欢,宠爱,音似 a door.
hinge /hinDN/ n．门铰链
things to a door门上的东西
Questions：
1．If a driver drives too fast he’ll get a ticket．
What will happen to a Poet if he writes too
fast?
司机如果车开得太快就会被罚款,那么诗人如果
诗写得太快,会怎么样呢?
2．Why is an empty purse always the same?
空钱包为什么总是老样子?
3．Why do little birds in the nest agree with each
other?
巢里的小鸟为什么意见总是一致?
Keys：
1．His poetic license will be taken away．
他的写诗执照就会被没收.
2．There’s no change in it．
因为里面没有零钱.
3．Because they would fall out if they didn’t．
因为如果意见不合,它们就会摔出鸟巢.
Notes：
1．poetic license诗的破格（如不遵从语法规则等）
2． change n．零钱；变化
3． fall out摔出去；争吵
Questions：
1．Why is an argument like a pen?
为什么说论据就像一支钢笔?
2．When will the wind improve its image?
风什么时候能改进自己的形象?
3．Why is learning English like a light gentle wind
to a smart student?
为什么对聪明的学生来说,学英语就像一阵微
风?
Keys：
1．No good Without a point．
没有笔尖就没有用处.
2．When it turns over a new leaf．
当它把一片刚落的叶子吹翻过来时.
3．It’s a breeze to them．
因为对他们来说学英语轻而易举.
Notes：
1．argument/’%:gjum+nt/ n．论据,说理
point n．尖,顶端；论点,要点
2．turn over a new leaf真正的涵义是：改过自新
3．breeze/bri：z/ n.微风,和风；轻而易举的事
Questions：
1．What has four wheels and flies?
什么东西有四个轮子还会飞?
2．What’s even harder to catch if you run faster?
什么东西你跑得越快越难追上?
3．What time is it when a man is chased by ten
dogs?
什么时候十条狗追一个人?
4．How can you tell a clock is shy?
你怎么知道时钟害羞呢?
Keys：
1．A garbage truck．
垃圾车.
2．Your breath．
你的呼吸.
3．It’s ten after one．
是一点过十分.
4．It has its hands over its face.
因为它用手遮着脸蛋.
Notes：
1．what has four wheels and flies?
另一种理解是：什么东西既有四个轮子又有许多
苍蝇?
2．catch one’s breath恢复正常呼吸（尤指剧烈运
动后）
Questions：
1．Why does time fly?
时间为何飞逝.
2．Why does an invisible man tend to go crazy?
隐形人为何容易发疯?
3．Where can a dog get another tail?
狗去哪里可以再弄到一条尾巴?
4．What bow can never be tied?
什么结不能打?
Keys：
1．To get away from all those who are trying to
kill it．
为的是甩掉所有要谋杀它的人.
2．Out of sight , out of mind．
看不见就变疯了.
3．At a retail store．
在零售商店.
4．A rainbow．
彩虹.
Notes：
1． kill time消磨时间
2．Out of sight, out of mind眼不见为净
3．前缀 re-表示“再一次”,“又…”.
Questions：
1．Why do carpenters think there’s no such thing
as gold in this world?
木匠为什么不相信世上有金子这种东西?
2．Why do you think doctors are mean?
你为什么认为医生很吝啬?
3．What do you think of the Grand Canyon?
你觉得大峡谷如何?
Keys：
1．They never saw it．
因为他们从未锯过金子.
2．Every time they treat me they make me pay for
it．
因为他们每次请我吃饭都让我来付帐.
3．Just gorges.
不过是峡谷罢了.
Notes：
1．saw n．锯,也是see（看见）的过去式.英文中讲
seeing is believing．（眼见为实）”
2．treat/tri：t/ v．请客；治疗,处理
mean/mi：n/ adj．小气,吝啬
3．gorges是 gorge（峡谷）的复数形式,音似 gorgeous/’g&:s/adj．宜人的,好的,美丽的
Just gorgeous!太棒了!太美了!
Questions：
1．How do you punctuate the following sentence?
I saw a $ 100 bill on the ground
你看到下面这个句子怎么给它加上标点?
我看见地上有一张巨元美钞
2．How do you know a photographer is always progressive?
你怎么知道摄影师总是在进步?
3．What roof never keeps out the wet?
什么屋顶不挡雨?
Keys：
1．Make a dash after it.
后面加个破折号.
2．They are always developing．
他们总是在冲（胶卷）.
3．The roof of the mouth．
上颚.
Notes：
1．make a dash after it另一种理解是：冲上去拿呀
punctuate v．/’p)RkCMueit/加标点
2．develop v．发展；冲（胶卷）
3．roof n．屋顶；上颚
Questions：
1．Does any child like going to school?
有没有小孩子喜欢上学?
2．Why is a peacock the best story-teller?
为什么说孔雀最擅长讲故事?
3．Why is a crazy person equal to two ordinary
people?
为什么说一个疯子抵得上两个正常人?
Keys：
1．Every child likes going to school． Most of them
Just hate staying there before going home．
每个孩子都喜欢去学校,大部分的孩子只不过不
喜欢在回家之前呆在那儿罢了.
2．Because it always has a beautiful tale．
因为它总是有一个美丽的故事.
3．Because he is a man beside himself．
因为他在自己的旁边还有一个人.
Notes：
1．go to School有两种理
①在学校读书,上学；
②去学校,上学校
2．tale/teil/ n．故事,音似tail（尾巴）.
3． beside oneself真正的意思是：发狂,忘形.
Questions：
1．What coat is always Wet When it’S put on?
什么衣服穿上的时候总是湿乎乎的?
2．Why did the band have a smash hit in the performance?
这支乐队何以演出取得巨大成功?
3．Why is Sunday the strongest day in a week?
为什么说星期日是一周里最强壮的一天?
Keys：
1．A coat of paint．
一层油漆.
2．They had the audience glued to their seats．
他们请人把听众粘在椅子上了.
3．The rest of the days are weak days．
因为其余的日子都很弱小.
Notes：
1．coat n．衣服；涂层,一层（漆）
2．smash hit很成功的新剧、电影等
have someone glued to one’s seat真正的意思
是：使某人喜欢得不忍离座,直到看完（表演）为
止.
3．weak adj．弱的,音似week
weekdays指不包括星期日的那些天
但是,目前流行的看法是：weekdays指周一至周
五,而weekends包括周六和周日.
Questions：
1．Why are giraffes the cheapest to feed?
为什么养长颈鹿最不花钱?
2．Why are dogs afraid to sunbathe?
狗为什么害怕日光浴；
3．Why are mules helpless in dancing?
骡子为什么在跳舞方面一塌糊涂?
4．Why is the pig always eating?
猪为什么没完没了地吃?
Keys：
1．They make a little food go a long wag．
因为它们脖子长,一点点食物都要走很长的路才
能咽下去.
2．They don’t want to be hot-dogs.
因为它们不想成为热狗.
3．They have two left legs．
因为它们有两条左腿.
4．He’s making a hog of himself．
它想成为一只肉猪.
Notes：
1．go a long way维持很长一段时间
3．have two left legs（跳舞等）笨手笨脚
4．make a pig of oneself像猪一样吃得很多（贬义）
hog /h&g/n．肉用肥猪
Questions：
1．What kind of shoes are made of banana skins?
什么鞋是用香蕉皮做的?
2．How do you like your school?
你觉得你们学校怎么样?
3．Why are politicians no longer concerned with
snowball fights?
政客们为什么不再关注打雪仗了?
Keys：
1．Slippers．
拖鞋.
2．Closed．
关闭.
3．The cold war is over．
冷战结束了.
Notes：
1．slipper/’slip+/ n．拖鞋
Slip/Slip/ v．滑,跌交
2．How do you like your school?有两种理
①你觉得你们学校怎么样?
②你希望你们学校是什么样子,
3．cold war冷战
Questions：
1．Why are watches fragile?
手表为什么容易坏?
2． What’s put on the table,cut,but never eaten?
什么东西摆在桌上,切好以后却不能食用?
3．Why don’t women get bald as soon as men?
为什么总是男人比女人先秃头?
Keys：
1．Because their hours are numbered．
因为它们有数字标明时间.
2．A deck of cards．
一副扑克牌.
3．Because women wear hair longer．
因为女人头发留得长.
Notes：
1．fragile/’fr$ail/ adj．易碎的,易坏的
“Their hours are numbered”源于“One’s days
are numbered”意思是“某人在世之日屈指可数,
寿命不长了”.
2．cut the cards洗牌
3．wear hair longer有两层意思：
①留着更长的头发；
②头发留得更长久
Questions：
1．How can you make the door last?
怎样能使门经久耐用?
2．Why shouldn’t you lose your temper?
为什么不该发脾气?
3．What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?
比萨塔为什么是斜的?
4．What book has the most stirring chapters?
什么书中有最动人的篇章?
Keys：
1．Make other things first．
先做其他的东西.
2．No one else wants it．
没人愿意要.
3．It never eats.
因为它从不食人间烟火.
4．A cook book．
烹饪书.
Notes：
1．make the door last另一种理解是：最后做门
3．lean v.倾斜；adj．瘦的
4．stirring adj．动人的
Stir v.搅和,搅拌
Questions：
1．What’s the most difficult train to catch?
赶什么火车最不容易?
2．What trees do fortune tellers like to look at?
算命先生喜欢看什么树?
3．How do people feel after taking a ferryboat?
乘渡船之后人们有什么感觉?
Keys：
1．The 12：50 train, because it’s ten to one if you
catch it．
是12点50分的火车,因为赶上它只有10比1的概
率.
2．Palms．
棕榈树.
3．They feel vexed, for the ferryboat made them
cross．
他们觉得烦恼,是因为渡船使然.
Notes：
1．ten to one 1点差10分；10比1
2．palm n．棕榈树；手掌
fortune teller算命先生,预言将来的人
palmist n．看手相者
3．cross v．过去,渡过,穿过
adj.暴躁的,易怒的
Questions：
1．What can pierce one’s ears without a hole?
什么东西不用打洞就可以在耳朵上穿孔?
2．If you had 5 dollars and gave away one quarter,
and another quarter,and then still mother
quarter, how much Would you have left?
假设你有5美元,拿走四分之一,再拿走四分之
一,接着又拿走四分之一,你还剩多少钱?
3．What bird lifts heavy things?
什么鸟可以举起重物?
Keys：
1．Noise.
噪音.
2．＄ 4．25．
还有4美元25美分.
3．A crane.
鹤.
Notes：
1．pierce/p!+s/v.刺穿,刺破
piercing/’p!+siR/adj.刺耳的
2．quarter/’kw&:t/n．四分之一；二十五美分
3．crane/krein/n．鹤；起重机
Questions：
1．What’s the difference between the North Pole
and the South Pole?
北极和南极的区别是什么?
2．What makes naughty boys long to work in a
clock factory?
淘气的男孩子为什么盼望到钟表厂工作?
3．What can I do to avoid falling hair?
怎样防止头发脱落?
Keys：
1．The whole world．
整个世界.
2．People make faces there．
因为那儿人们做鬼脸.
3．Get out of the way where the hair’s falling．
别站在头发掉下来的地方就行了.
Notes：
1．A world of difference天壤之别
2．make faces做鬼脸；做钟面
3．avoid falling hair有两种理
①防止头发脱落；
②避开（从上面）掉下来的头发
Questions：
1．What do girls find the easiest to part with?
女孩子们发现什么东西最舍得放弃?
2．What king of running means walking?
什么样的跑步意味着走路?
3．What do elephants use to communicate with
each other?
大象用什么交谈?
4．What makes fish the smartest animal in the
world?
鱼为什么是世界上最聪明的动物?
Keys：
1．A comb．
梳子.
2．Running out of gas．
汽油用完了.
3．Big Words．
大个的词.
4．No one can pull its leg．
它没有腿给人拉.
Notes：
1．part with放弃（尤指不自愿地）；用…分头路或
发缝
2．big words真正的涵义是：比较正式的大词
4．pull one’s leg真正的涵义是：使…上当受骗
Questions：
1．What made the little strawberry worried?
什么事让小草莓忧心忡忡?
2．Something went Wrong with the second hand of
my watch．Where can I have it replaced?
我手表上的秒针坏了,请问哪儿有换的?
3．Why are Writers like postmen?
为什么作家与邮递员相似?
Keys：
1．It’s afraid to be in a jam．
它害怕被做成果酱.
2．In a second-hand store．
在旧货店里.
3．They are all men of letters．
他们都是文人.
Notes：
1．jam/DN$m/ n．果酱；塞车
2．second hand adj． 二手货的,旧的
second hand n．秒针
3．men of letters文人
letter n．字母；信件
Questions：
1．Why are chickens kept away from children?
为什么孩子们不能和鸡呆在一起?
2．Why do people go to bed?
人们为什么睡觉?
3．Why shouldn’t we have tte-鄑te e in the country?
我们为什么不能在乡间密谈?
Keys：
1．Chickens use fowl language．
因为鸡用的是禽语.
2．Because the bed won’t come to us．
因为床不会走向我们.
3．Because the corn have ears．
因为玉米有耳.
Notes：
1．fowl language音似foul language（脏话）
2．go to bed另一种理解是：走向床,走到床跟前
3．tte-—-tte/’teit%:’teit/n.私下密谈
corns have ears源于 walls have ears隔墙有耳
ear n.耳朵；一穗（玉米）
Questions：
1．What’s the best thing to take when you run-
down?
身体不适时吃什么最好?
2．What stays hot even if put in a refrigerator?
什么东西就是放在冰箱里也是热的?
3．What is the best year for a kangaroo?
什么是袋鼠的幸运年?
类似问题2：关于趣味英语关于怎样写好研究性课题报告[历史科目]
这是对英语的兴趣问题
类似问题3：求：趣味英语表演!高中英语课前要有一个5分钟的表演!怎么表演才有趣呢?[英语科目]
主要看内容,夸张一点就好,下面给你参考：
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小.但除此之外呢,那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤,而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子.这个答案很有意思吧?
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物,他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼,他会更生气.Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”,也有“鸡眼”的意思.
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子,所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的.你说呢?
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语,你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀!因为除了这个意思以外,它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面.
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢?最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉.虽然这不是治疗方法,但如果让梦游者醒着呢,他的确就不会去梦游了.
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人.
-- 他真是一个大人物.干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人.
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元.在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假.
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票.这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的.”
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦,
亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人：没有用的,我的小狗不认识字.”
Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员,
这个龙虾只有一只爪.
-- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了.
-- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧.
The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了.他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃.门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开.”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊.天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答.
Advice for "Kid"
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."
忠告“年轻者”
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告.如果你只有65岁的话,
千万别进退休社区.因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了.每当要搬东西,抬东西或者装东西时,他们就叫喊,“让小的干吧.”
Which woman?
One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the
most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."
My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"
哪一位女人?
一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物,
回来后发现车身沾满灰尘,于是擦洗了一阵.当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃.”
我丈夫抬头看了看,说：“妈妈来了?”
The doctor lives downstairs
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
医生住在楼下
“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道.
“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病.”
他从头到脚打量打量她,然后大声说：“太太,我有三件事要对你说.第一,您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二,如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红,您的美貌将会改变.第三,我是一位画家——医生住在楼下.”
One Engine Left
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r
esult."
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."
At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"
只剩一个引擎
一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时,喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意,我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了.但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的.只是我们要因此晚到一小时 .” 过了一会儿,旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位,你们猜怎么啦 ?我们刚又掉了第三个引擎.但请你们相信好了.只有一个引擎我们也能飞,但要晚三个小时了.” 正在这时,一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上,如果我们再掉一个引擎,我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了.”
Logic Reasoning
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
逻辑推理
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课.她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况,一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼,突然失去重心掉进了水里.于是他开始挣扎并喊救命.他的妻子听到了他的喊声,知道他并不会游泳,所以她就急忙跑向河岸.谁能告诉我这是为什么?” 一个女生举手答道,“是不是去取他的存款?”
[注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外,还有“河岸”的意思.
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congreg
ation. "All who want to go to heaven,please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start, the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit, "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
瞌睡者
牧师非常生气,因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡.一个星期天,正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时,牧师决定要好好教育他一下,让他不要再在布道时睡觉.于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人,都请站起来吧.”所有的人都站了起来——当然,除了那个打瞌睡的人.在低声说过请坐后,牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了,他站了起来.看到牧师高站在教坛上,正生气的看着他.这个人说道：“噢,先生,我不知道我们在选什么,但看上去只有你和我是候选人.”
THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word "Sex" had been spelled with an "o". One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to "Sox": "Usually brown."
某学校发给学生的健康调查表里有个错别字——把“性别”的“性”字写成了“袜”字.一位母亲在为她的儿子填写表格时,在“袜别”的那栏填上了：“棕色为主.”
[注] 英语中sex（性）与sox（袜）只有一个字母之差.
When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"
"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.
"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"
约会
在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋,那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼.汤姆有些受宠若惊,因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁.一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去.于是汤姆走了过去.她问道,“您现在是单身吗?” “对,是单身,”汤姆满脸堆笑的说. “我母亲也是,”她说,“您愿不愿意见见她?”
But the teacher cried
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"
"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
可是老师哭了
六岁的约翰娇生惯养.他的父亲知道这一点,可他的祖父母仍然宠着他.这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母.他想要什么不是哭,就是闹.他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱.
约翰放学了,他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样?你过的好吗?哭了没有?”
“哭?”约翰问,“不,我没哭,可老师哭了.”
A Smart Housewife.
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
精明的家庭主妇
一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤.她听了大为兴奋,说：“那太好了!一个炉子可以省一半的煤,那么如果我买两个炉子的话,不就可以把煤全都省下来了吗?”
Only cash and credit cards
When a man called a motel and asked how much they charged for
a room, the clerk told him that the rates depend on room size and number of people.
" Do you take children?" the man asked.
"No, sir," replied the clerk. "Only cash and credit cards."
只算现金和信用卡
一个人打电话给一家汽车旅馆询问房租,旅馆的工作人员回答说 房租的多少取决于房间的大小和住客的人数.
“小孩儿算不算呢?”那人问道.
“不算,先生.”服务员回答,“我们只算现金和信用卡.”
Does the dog know the proverb, too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
狗也知道这个谚语吗?
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子.
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人.’”
“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿?
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画.
“看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!”
“是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子.那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”
哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道：“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗.”
Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes' wife is begins to deliver the baby. The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?
" "Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..." Before Mike can finish the Doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mike." Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You've a full set now, Mike. A beautiful baby daughter."
"Thanks be to..."
Again the Doctor cuts in, "Hold the lantern, Mike, Hold the lantern!" Soon the Doctor delivers a third child. The doctor
holds up the baby for Mike's inspection.
"Doctor," asks Mike, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?"
The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难,”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说,“她问我一个问题,然后自己回答了,过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的.”
I Wasn't Asleep
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我没有睡着
当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了.售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了,他担心这个人会坐过站,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,说：“先生,醒醒!”
“我没有睡着.”那个男人回答.
“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”
“我知道,我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已.”
类似问题4：需要50道英语趣味题,题目不要太长,题目要翻译成中文（如果答案也有中文或是一个句子,也请翻译),What starts with T,ends with T,and can be full of 什么开始是T,结尾是T,还可能全是T?（teapot）茶壶[英语科目]
1 Last week, it took me three days to go from A to B, but then four days to go from B to A. What are A and B?
Sunday and Wednesday.
2 What letter is a body of water?
C(sea)
3 What has teeth but cannot eat?
comb 梳子
4 What two words contain thousands of letters
mailbox
5 Which runs faster,heat or cold?Why?
heat runs faster,because you can catch a cold
6 What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
Envelope
7 What of us goes up and never comes down?
Our age
类似问题5：趣味英语（高手请进）例如：on(在 上)no(不)你还能想象出可以像这样转换的其他单词吗?（首尾字母互相调换，并译成中文）[英语科目]
deer-reed 鹿-芦苇
live-evil 生活-邪恶
pop-pop 流行、点到点、波普……